I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My cat gives me a boner
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all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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