it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am available for nakedness
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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