OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Don't make out with my wife yet
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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