Im at strip club and am horny
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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