i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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