I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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