i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize