the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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You made out with two different species that night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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