My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize