She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize