If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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