If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize