Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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