I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize