She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize