I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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