Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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