they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize