Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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