She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize