I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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