never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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