My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize