FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize