Will you blow on my dice?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize