So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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