I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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