When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this will be a night to untag.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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