Your face is a jimmy john
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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