Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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