Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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