the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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