I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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