Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize