I don't think brook has ever known best
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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