It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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