We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize