If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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