why do cheetos always look like penises
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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