just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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