Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize