I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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