He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Randomize