i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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