Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize