Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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