she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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