You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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