So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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