Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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